Tinder, Tinder, Tinder. Where do we start. It without a doubt revolutionised the online dating scene, but crikey there are some less-than-revolutionary lines out there. If you’re on it, you’ll understand. If you’re not on it, you might find yourself counting your lucky stars after this! So, let’s take a look at some Tinder fails – sadly, every single one comes from experience…
1. “Hi, how are you?”
I mean, come on, I almost fell asleep just typing it. If a man’s lacking that much creativity in their opening line, it’s not a great omen going forwards. And if they try and pick us apart for complaining about this, get yourself on Bumble and show them how it’s done (women literally have to speak first).
2. “Fancy a bang?”
Number one, ew. Number two, no. Number three, there are other apps out there if that’s all you’re after. Oh and number four, no again.
Who in the right mind thinks we’re just going to turn around and come running. Last time I checked we had this thing called dignity – and it’s still there.
3. One lonely photo
Uh oh. The cynic in me says this can mean one of two things: it’s their only half decent photo and even they know the others won’t get you swiping right; or it’s a lazy catfish attempt.
It could of course be the man of your dreams, so take a punt if you dare!
4. Group photos
Please don’t make us have to work out which one your are. If there’s the odd group photo then fair enough, but ALL of them? The effort alone is enough to get me swiping left (and I wonder why I’m single, hey!).
5. Awkward propositions
Sadly, word for word, this is all so very true: “Best start by being honest. I’m only looking to meet someone for a casual relationship with (sex). Fully understand if you are bored of hearing that by now and sorry if it’s a bit forward of me to say. I just don’t want to waste your time as I would not like mine to be wasted either.”
Well, at least he had the manners to apologise and shows signs of time-saving efficiency.
6. Cringey chat-up lines
It just gets better (face palm).
“I got pulled over by a cop while writing my initial message. He gave me the whole texting is dangerous speech and was about to give me a ticket. I showed him your picture and explained what Tinder was. He let me off with a warning and said I better get your number.”
7. “How are you in a thong?”
A little less forward than point number two, but still, really?!
Literally, I’ve had “Haha!” as a standalone opener. No follow up. No prior chat. Nothing. I mean I know I’m a hoot and all that, but you’ve not been blessed with my humour yet.